The Deafening Sound of Silence
Many of you know that the eldest girl child has been planning on moving after finishing her associates of arts degree in teaching. Well...she finished. And, she is gone. Her last two weeks at home were bittersweet. We did a lot of last things. And those things are fun but really, really, really suck when you know it is the last time. At least the last time for a good while. And the house is silent for the first time since she was born. She has always been a talker. She laughs quickly and uses her sharp tongue and wit readily. The other two...not so much. They are quieter and more secluded in their own heads. Eldest girl child always let you know what she was thinking. The silence is deafening in the emptiness it represents.
Don't get me wrong, I am so happy and excited for her. She is just starting a life with a young man that she adores and who is equally smitten with her. She has always been bigger than the small town we live in. She is more tolerant, more inclusive, and frankly more strange and less apologetic than most would like her to be in order to fit in fully. She gets that from me I hope.
As a family, we went to Scarborough Renaissance Festival where we laughed and spent time together being silly. She bought mermaid ears with her sister and ate cherry ice. The next day she said goodbye to work friends who threw her a party. The next week passed with errands and ink and friends. She refused to walk in the graduation ceremony for her AAT. She said it was not her final degree and she had things to do. Practical and pragmatic, but sad for me as her brother who finished his BA was also not walking (he failed to turn in paperwork on time and really is not one for ceremonies). We had a family barbeque that included manchild (eldest girl child's boyfriend), my parents, the husband's extended family, small child's dad (eldest girl child claims him too and he claims all of my kids) and new girlfriend who we adore, and children who might as well be mine because of how much time they have spent in my house. That is how we roll. A family is not just people who are born to you, but people who you find and love along the way.
And then it was time. The boxes were packed and loaded. The tears were shed. Hugs were given and I managed not to beg her to stay because she needed to go and learn to be a grown-up. And manchild and she need each other. They love each other and I can't keep them apart anymore. She is stubborn, she will finish her degree in education and teach special education because according to her they need her more. People keep saying that she will be back. I don't think she will. She is trying to become her own person and not the person people here expect her to be.
Tonight she and manchild cooked for the house of people they live with. Tomorrow she will interview for a full-time preschool teaching job where if given the opportunity she will put the AAT to use. I am proud of what she is trying to do. I am prouder of how brave she is to do it now. I love you baby girl.
Don't get me wrong, I am so happy and excited for her. She is just starting a life with a young man that she adores and who is equally smitten with her. She has always been bigger than the small town we live in. She is more tolerant, more inclusive, and frankly more strange and less apologetic than most would like her to be in order to fit in fully. She gets that from me I hope.
As a family, we went to Scarborough Renaissance Festival where we laughed and spent time together being silly. She bought mermaid ears with her sister and ate cherry ice. The next day she said goodbye to work friends who threw her a party. The next week passed with errands and ink and friends. She refused to walk in the graduation ceremony for her AAT. She said it was not her final degree and she had things to do. Practical and pragmatic, but sad for me as her brother who finished his BA was also not walking (he failed to turn in paperwork on time and really is not one for ceremonies). We had a family barbeque that included manchild (eldest girl child's boyfriend), my parents, the husband's extended family, small child's dad (eldest girl child claims him too and he claims all of my kids) and new girlfriend who we adore, and children who might as well be mine because of how much time they have spent in my house. That is how we roll. A family is not just people who are born to you, but people who you find and love along the way.
And then it was time. The boxes were packed and loaded. The tears were shed. Hugs were given and I managed not to beg her to stay because she needed to go and learn to be a grown-up. And manchild and she need each other. They love each other and I can't keep them apart anymore. She is stubborn, she will finish her degree in education and teach special education because according to her they need her more. People keep saying that she will be back. I don't think she will. She is trying to become her own person and not the person people here expect her to be.
Tonight she and manchild cooked for the house of people they live with. Tomorrow she will interview for a full-time preschool teaching job where if given the opportunity she will put the AAT to use. I am proud of what she is trying to do. I am prouder of how brave she is to do it now. I love you baby girl.
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