May Madness

 Ah, May.  How I love/loathe you.  May in our house is...well it is INSANE.  It used to be April.  But dance has shifted recital to May and now my May feels like a never-ending spinning vortex of chaos.  And some of this I have done to myself.  I do realize this.  I am not even going to pretend like some of this is not absolutely my fault.  I did volunteer to do two presentations at two different conferences during the month of May.  And I also volunteered to serve on two conference planning committees for conferences that happen in June, which means May is absolutely GO TIME!  But, I forgot just how much time dance takes in recital month.  And this year is worse because small child is in the highest level of classes at her studio so that means she has a big part and that means more time.  

My Flying Monkey

But, did I realize that this month I would also need blood work (I am sure I am fine.  Do not freak out.  I am just overly exhausted and not sleeping and it is probably just the early stages of menopause because I am no longer a spring chicken.) and my annual mammogram (gotta keep the girls healthy) and my second Covid shot that made me useless most of this week.  No! No, I did not.  I failed to realize that my health, which has been pretty darn good this last year would suddenly bite me in the ass when I needed it the most.  But, it is fine.  And please remember when a woman says it is fine it never is.

Back to the joys of dance.  Small child has been dancing for 9 years now.  Which makes me feel both old and very proud.  I have witnessed the joy and exhaustion of annual recitals for almost a  decade.  And to be honest...I only remember pieces of them.  I think I can list all of the themes.  Circ du Soliel, Avatar, Cinderella, Swan Lake, Beauty and the Beast, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Wizard of Oz....I am missing one....Alice! Alice belongs after circ and before Avatar. Whew...and this year is Lion King where small child will portray a larger-than-life but diminutive meerkat.  We cannot wait, but it is exhausting.  Even though she is 16, small child does not drive.  Which means the husband and I shuffle her to dance a couple times a week.  Now to say we shuffle sounds like it is a quick jaunt.  It is not.  It is 45 minutes one way where we then sit for 2-3 hours depending on the day.  It is a commitment.  And we do it because it is what she does.  She dances and she draws.  It is the artsy, fartsy stuff that makes her happy.  So we drive.  And we sit.  And we do it so that she can walk out of that studio sweaty and exhausted and ready to go back the next day if necessary.  We do it on Sundays to perfect things.  We buy makeup that she only will wear two days out of the year.  And we fight with getting all her hair into a bun.  And we sit through a two-hour recital to see her on stage for as little as 5 minutes.  Not now.  Now she is in 11 songs and will sleep for at least 12 hours afterward.  But in the beginning, it was five minutes.  She earned the time on the stage and there is no way that we will take any of that from her.  So we drive, and wait, and buy bras that get sewn into costumes, and get tights that are worn once for a performance, and buy armloads of flowers because she earns them every year.  And not once has she asked to quit.  Not one time in nine years did she say, I don't want to do this.  Now, has she looked at me and said, mom, I am sick I can't dance today.  Of course, she has.  But, she goes back and does makeup classes and talks about what next year will look like.  

Pre-recital looks

And so we wade through the waters of May madness.  I do not have a single day without an appointment or dance.  Not one for the whole month.  And that is ok.  Because my baby girl will dance her little heart out and then...well we will get to June.  And we will...who am I kidding, we won't rest. In June we will think about next season and prepare to start all over.